Thursday, February 08, 2007

Manly Men for Jesus

Want to catch up on two recent news items in the church this past week.

First, Doug Giles, a conservative theologian, was on Fox News recently lamenting that society as a whole and the church in particular are raising up "nice boys," which I interpret as the politically correct rendition of "girlie men." Seems that Giles didn't grow up wanting to be a nice boy, but rather envisioned a world where he could slay dragons and rescue damsels in distress. And so Giles dreams of a church that goes back to the biblical example. Men should be "[L]ike David. David was a warrior. You know, Moses, he was a tough, rowdy guy. He defied Pharaoh and all of his hosts. You know, Jesus wasn't a bearded lady."

So Giles wants to model manly behavior from a murderer and a womanizing murderer. Maybe instead of blaming secular society and the feminists for your problem, you might look instead at your leading conservative pastors. My personal Exhibit A:

That's Joel Olsteen of the Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas. If I had to listen to his voice week in and week out, I would turn to self-mutilation. Just the soundwaves produced by his manly voice may be responsible for countless aural castrations.

Which leads us to our second news story: Manly Man Ted Haggard, who after three weeks of intensive therapy has successfully prayed the gay right out of him. This is nothing short of stupendous. And it is my hope and prayer that these amazing prayer warriors might tackle a few other problems in the world today. Maybe they could start with the letter "A". Three weeks to cure: aids, als, alzheimers, anorexia....

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