Profile:(From The Onion)
Experience:
Shot at least seven men for giving him the stink eye
Reason For Running:
Wants to Rid Washington of flimflam men, hornswogglers, jakes, jukers, and no-good four-flushers
Signature Issue:
Yelling at people
Proudest Accomplishment:
Once punched Teddy Roosevelt square in the mouth
![](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_NVYC-fhIk3I/SPc_QnubNvI/AAAAAAAAAkI/ABzNN0e0dEc/s400/PollOct14.gif)
It's sure as hell not like those kind of people don't exist.
TAGS: Third Party Candidates, Older Than Dirt, Dumb as a Rock, (The Onion)
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