McCain Has A New Rival

Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate
May Steal Support From McCain

Profile:

Experience:
Shot at least seven men for giving him the stink eye

Reason For Running:
Wants to Rid Washington of flimflam men, hornswogglers, jakes, jukers, and no-good four-flushers

Signature Issue:
Yelling at people

Proudest Accomplishment:
Once punched Teddy Roosevelt square in the mouth

(From The Onion)

UPDATE: You think I'm kidding? Look at this very recent New York Times/CBS poll. Do you notice that while Obama's support has gone up by 5% in one week, McCain's has gone down by 6%? Where do you think that other 1% could have gone?

It's sure as hell not like those kind of people don't exist.

TAGS: Third Party Candidates, Older Than Dirt, Dumb as a Rock, (The Onion)